Vilified! - Red Meat for Conservatives from a Guy who’s Got a Lot of Beefs - Waiting for the Scum of the Earth's R.S.V.P.

Date: 6/23/09

Waiting for the Scum of the Earth’s R.S.V.P.

This is shaping up to be some July 4th.

The Obama administration has invited Iranian diplomats to attend U.S. embassy weenie roasts and North Korea is going to supply the fireworks in the form of a missile launch.

The only thing missing is Saddam Hussein in an Uncle Sam costume. Too bad his people executed him for crimes against humanity - he would have been so much fun playing dress up!

I think if the White House’s invite to the embassy barbecues stands, we should plan on further holidays with the lousiest people in the world.

Labor Day is coming up at the beginning of September. Why don’t we invite the Taliban to the hospitals at our local bases in Afghanistan so they can beat up some pregnant women who had the audacity to have relations with men before marriage?

Then, let’s see: Columbus Day in early October. That might be another one for the Iranians. If Ahmadinejad is still in office, we could ask him if he wants to attend a spaghetti dinner in honor of the man who discovered the New World. Sure, Ahmadinejad will deny America was discovered by Columbus - like he denies the Holocaust ever happened – but he’s one to never turn down a free meal.

Moving on, we come to Halloween! I say we get all the guys we’re holding at Gitmo and have a little party. We’ll hand out masks fashioned after the faces of typical citizens from Milwaukee and Sheboygan and Obama’s lawyers can pretend they’re Americans, entitled to all the rights and privileges of citizenship.

Can’t forget Thanksgiving. It will be great: Obama can invite members of Al Qaeda to the White House to share in a friendly Thanksgiving meal. Instead of stuffing it with grandma’s favorite recipe, the White House chef can fill the turkey’s cavity with plastic explosives then cook it by placing a bomb vest over its breast and blowing it up.

Finally, every citizen can open his home to all our enemies at Christmas time: the North Koreans, the Iranian government, the Taliban, and Al Qaeda. We’ll hang stockings by the fireplace (or our guests can hang dissidents), serve a fruitcake in the shape of Kim Jong Il’s face, and put up a tree with an angel on top wearing a burka.

Man, am I feeling festive.

Corey Deitz