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Corey Deitz
10
live in the New Jersey suburbs. By age 14, I had social issues. There was a
time when I would hop a bus into New York City and make my way to the
storefront which housed the “Save the Biafra” campaign. I would stock up
on posters featuring starving black children and bring them back to lily-
white Clifton, New Jersey where a suburban liberal could make a
difference – and still be comfortable.
I started my political consciousness as a Democrat only because
my parents were card-carrying members. In high school I was a radical. I
did not like authority and generally felt the “establishment” was always up
to no good. I didn’t like dress codes or rules and instead, chose to start an
underground newspaper to help spread what I thought was the truth. I
continued my liberal apprenticeship at college where I had long locks,
facial hair, and the general attitude that if there was a cause, I could
support it.
I’d like to admit here and now: I’m a recovering Democrat and I
have established these 6 Steps to Recovery:
1.
Admit you are powerless over cashing government tax
rebate checks for money you didn’t earn.
2.
Believe that a party greater than Democrats could restore
your principles – or at least read the legislation it passes.
3.
Make a decision to turn your life over to the ideas of
conservatives - and commit to listening to Sean Hannity
three-times-a-week, watching Bill O’Reilly twice-a-week,
or making sure your underground shelter is fully stocked
with food and ammo while listening to Michael Savage
once-a-week – or watching Glenn Beck in 10 minute
increments.
4.
Take a moral inventory of yourself. Admit your personal
shelves are as empty as an ice cream case after Rosie
O’Donnell has left the supermarket.
5.
Admit your dependence on accepting crumbs from the
government culled from the wealthy.
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