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Corey Deitz
14
I want you to think of the American political scene as a big, fat, juicy
turkey.
The Left Wing is the Democrats
The Right Wing is the Republicans
The Tail is what lobbyists are always trying to ride in order to curry favor.
The Toes are what politicians are willing to step on to get their way.
The Snood is the fleshy appendage just above the beak that is found on
the male turkey. It has no known function - just like most elected
representatives.
The Ass is the constituent who elects these idiots.
Even though I’m a conservative, I do think there are nut jobs on
the far corners of both parties and they make me uncomfortable. I think
they make any reasonable person uncomfortable.
The problem with fringe elements in both parties comes down to a
very simple reality: left wing kooks want to control your body, right wing
kooks want to control your morality. Here’s a bulletin from Traffic
Control in my cerebral cortex: all of you take a flying leap.
The evangelical Christian right would like nothing better than Roe
vs. Wade being overturned, stem cell research quashed, prayer in school
returned, and all of our currency to read “In God We Trust. Amen. Let’s
Eat.”
The far-left lobotomies don’t want you to eat - well, at least eat
anything they think is bad for you. If they could, they’d outlaw greasy
cheeseburgers (and adjudicate Sonic executives at war crime trials for
allowing high caloric and fatty beef to have been cooked and sold), require
all school lunches to feature tofu and quinoa, change all the Coke
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